You won't understand ( Jean x Reader )
by ImNoSupermanGer
Summary: "What's all this crap? Why won't you tell us the truth already?", he shouted while approaching you dangerously fast. You bit your lip indecisively, your breathing stopped. You clenched your teeth and gave a desperate laugh. A lonely tear ran down your cheek. Your lips trembled strained and with a quavering voice you replied: "Fuck... Because it's the only way to keep you save."
1. Prologue

It was the most disturbing day of your still short life. The walls, which protected you, your family and every single person around you until this point of time, surrendered. The town was small, barely 100.000 people lived there, thus the walls were only about 30 meters high. Some people called the wall a god, it was named 'Hikari'. You did not know what this word meant for a long time, until your father told you that it was another word for light and hope. He told you it was an old and almost forgotten language called 'japanese', there also was a specific sign for that word, it was painted all over the wall.

The wall sphered your little town and it had one gate which was directed to the south. When _the day_ came it destroyed your entire life, your happiness, your confidence... your hope.

It was late afternoon when you looked up to the ruby-red sky and felt the warmth of the sun setting with the sun itself. You stood infront of your small house. Well, it was more a wooden hut than an actual house. The walls were moldy and unsteady, the roof had a leak and the old wooden floor made a noise whenever someone made a step. Nevertheless, you loved your little home, in your eyes it was perfect. Since your family was one of the poorest in the town, you and your parents lived only some hundred meters away from wall Hikari.

And in the moment your (e/c) eyes still were focused on the stunningly beautiful sky, you heard an ear-shattering noise, you saw some huge rocks falling from the sky. Suddenly, someone grabbed your wrist and pulled you into your house. The door was slammed shut and you turned around hesitantly and looked into your father's terrified, blue eyes.

„Daddy? What's going on?", you asked unsurely.

Your father's shaking legs went into a kneeling position, he layed his hands on your shoulders and looked deeply in your (e/c) eyes.

„(Name), Listen.", his voice was shaking, „We have to leave this place. Now."

„But, Dad-"

„No buts!", he yelled at you in total panic. You could feel some tears running down you cheeks as your father stood up quickly and pulled you to the backdoor. He squeezed your wrist so strongly that it started to hurt but you chose not to cry about it.

„But... what about mommy?", you asked carefully. Your father kicked the door open and, thus, revealed a horrifying picture. Just for one meager moment, time seemed to be inexistent. Although your father's tall and dark figure blocked most of your vision, you realized what was going on the streets. Hundreds of people ran to the left, they ran for their lives. You were so afraid, you did not understand why there are running away and what was going on, however, you were so incredibly curious. But before you could turn your gaze to the right, your father grabbed you, lifted you up and pressed your little body to his chest. You buried your face in his warm shoulder, after all you were only seven years old and did not experienced such a situation before. Your father began to ran, you were surrounded by people who headed to the same direction. There were so many people, you were not able to count them.

„Listen..", he whispered in your ear. He was out of breath, put his hand on your head protectiviey and you could feel how fast and strong his chest went up an down due to his physical and emotional fatique. „We will meet up with mommy later. But for now you have to trust me, (Name)."

„Ok", you answered with an almost not hearable voice and nodded cautiously into your father's strong shoulder. Some time had passed, it could had been seconds, minutes, hours, you did not know, but then you heard a threateningly loud noise. It was kind of rhytmic, like footsteps. _What is that?_

Slowly but steadily, you raised your head and you recognized the noise's source immediately. It was the creature your parents always warned you about. Eventhough you've never saw one, you knew that it was a titan. Suddenly, your eys widened and your whole body was shaking as your gaze met the giant's eyes. It was huge and it towered every building surrounding it with ease. Long brown hair edged its face, its unnormally big eyes glared at you and its smile... oh god its smile. It just followed you with this awful smile. The blood of all those brave soldiers, who lost their lives in a desperate fight against these abominations, still dripping out of the mouth's corners, 40 teeth in each row, formed to a sadistic grin.

You should memorize this picture for the next couple of years.

Suddenly, you opened your eyes and gasped for air. Your (e/c) stared at the grey and battered wall next to your puny bed, which actually was just a filthy old mattress. How long have you been here? You did not know, could be months or even years. You turned around and the chains around your wrist began to tinkle. The clinking sound annoyed you, you were sick of this sound, of this tiny cell, the stuffy air, of your life. But you won't break your promise, you will keep on living. Some sun beams made it through the tiny window right onto your skin, you enjoyed this feeling the most, since it is the only source of warmth in this pathetic hole they call 'cell'.

All of the sudden, you here a quiet squeak and footsteps which appeared to become louder and louder. _Could it be?_

You straighten yourself cautiously, focused the stair's end and observed it with complete precision. Only one torch lit up the room in front of your cell so you almost could not recognized anything besides total darkness. But you knew who it was, anyway. The figure stoped next to the torch, which rustled silently. The small light source revealed what you had expected all the time. A short man with raven-black hair, parted in the middle. Some starnds of hair reached down to his forehead. Eventhough you could not see his face, you saw his emotionless eyes, staring at you. You would have recognized his empty gaze everywhere. His arms crossed in front of his chest, he leant on the wall behind him, in complete silence.

„So..", you began harshly, „what do you want now?"

You got no answer. „You seriously refuse to even talk to me? Isn't it me who should be offended? Gosh, you're such a dramaqueen.."

„Shut up-", he said calmy and sighed.

„Oh, it seems you're indeed still able to talk...", you started to laugh sarcastically.

„What did I just say? Just shut up and listen.", he pushed himself away from the wall and made some steps toward you, „we found a way to let you leave this place. There are just one condition, understood? You have to join the military and after you graduated, you will be part of the Recon Corp. Since you know the area behind the walls, you are going to be a valuable member of my troop. If you don't want to do this-", he gave you a slightly sardonic grin while he approached your cell and grasped the lattice, „well, then you should brace yourself up for a longer stay."

„'A longer stay?' You. Fucking. Kidding. Me.?", you began to laugh even louder and your (e/c) eyes fixated his, „You get me everytime. Apparently, you guys think some years in this fuckhole aren't a 'longer stay', huh? But I never got along with your kind of logic.I deserve nothing more than leaving this place and you dare to deny this.", you sighed loudly and closed your eyes, „However, the thought of being outside the walls again is really tempting... I accept."

„Good decision.", he said emotionlessly, like everytime, and turned aroud to leave, after he made some steps you interrupt his tread with an unusally catty voice: „Oh, and Levi... I'll give you a hint. Don't be too confident about our collaboration."

He stopped and said quietly: „No shit.."


	2. New faces

**WARNING: Strong language and violence.**

The sun was at it's zenith and the unbearably bright beams hurt your eyes with the power of hundreds of knives. Although you tried not to reflexively press your eyes shut, you were not really able to do keep your eyes open just like you were supposed to do. _Aww, damn.._

The air was stuffy and full of dust so that you also had to concentrate on not sneezing you in front of the instructor's eyes... or rather ears. His face was just as terrifying as his voice, which sounded like a mixture of fingernails scratching a blackboard, an old bull's rutting call and a hoodiecrow's death cry. So all in all, it wasn't a pleasure at all.

You sighed quietly as you saw how the instructor, Keith Shadis, inspected your comdrades. Well, actually refused to call them your comrades because you did not know any of them. They were only faceless people, who just seemed to accidentally be in the same place as you. Let's just call them unlucky fellows. You stood in the third row and Shadis went along the scared faces of the first row's candidates. He held his hands on his back and suddenly stopped in front of one boy. His stop was so abrupt that it created a little dust cloud around them.

„AND WHO THE **FUCK** ARE **YOU**?", he screamed and let everyone in a 200m radius cringe a bit.

The short, bald boy saluted immediately but your (e/c) eyes witnessed that he did it the wrong way. His left fist headed to his heart, not the right as it was supposed to be. _Jeez, what an idiot._

„My name is Connie Springer, Sir. I come from the south of wall Maria, the village Ragako, Sir..", you figured that he tried to sound confident and strong but _he _did not _figure_ that he did the salute in the wrong way.

You expected Shadis to freak out completely– and he did. Fastly, he took Connie's head and lifted his entire body, the boy still saluting bravely. _At least he's tying.. _You started to giggle silently. Sometimes, you were a real prick but as long as nobody knew that, you were fine with it. You were fine with your – You granted – sometimes even sadistic sarcasm and your cynical jokes but this was what made you up. And if you really wanted, you could be a nice little girl. You just did not want to do this at all.

Shadis' unmistakably noisy voice roused you from slumber immediately. „THAT IS THE WRONG **FUCKING** WAY ROUND, CONNIE SPRINGER!" The only thing Connie could respond were strained 'Ughs..' and 'Ahhs..' but the instructor kept on with his address in a surprisisngly low voice. „I'm pretty fucking sure that I already told you this. Your salute should show that you dedicated **YOUR HEART** to humanity's resurrection. Do YOU have YOUR FUCKING heart on your body's right side, YOU FUCKING FREAK?"

_If Shadis continues with this, Connie's head is going to rip off.._ But then, suddenly, Shadis loosened his grip and let the bald boy fall on the ground, so that a next dust cloud was formed... again. Since this Connie stood only two rows in front of you it was only a matter of time that Shadis would address you as well. You only focused on two this. On the fake name _they_ gave you, because no one should know your true identity, and your fake birthplace. _Hopefully, I don't fuck this up.._

However, you recognized that the instructor omitted some people and you wondered why but you just couldn't figure it out. _He'll have his reasons_.. The people he skipped seemed somehow different. They had this – well-known – deadpan but also extremely determined look on their faces. And some managed to combine this emotinons in their faces.

Then again, he stopped, your row, only some cadets away from you. You leaned forward incospiciously because you were so damn curious who had hit the jackpot this time. It was a darkbrown-haired boy with frackles all over his face. He was the only cadet with a freaking smile on his face. He just stood there and smiled. It was no sardonic or sarcastic smile, which usually adorned your face, but a friendly and warm one. You somehow felt really, really bad for him as soon as Shadis started his tirade of hatred. _Please don't start crying, dude. Hold on._

You really hoped he was stronger than he appeared to be but now, finally, Shadis ceased from slam this boy down. You thought he said his name was Marc or something like that. Much to your chagrin, your beautiful (e/c) eyes only focused on the boy's trembling body – but he did not cry so in this point, at least, you were in the right – and you did not notice that the exceedingly kind instructor approached you and in the end, stopped right in front of you.

You, however, still focused on the boy but suddenly, the naggingly bright light dissappeared and only _now_ you got to understand what was going on. Everyone's gaze was directed toward you, even Marc stared now directly into your (e/c) eyes. Goosebumps flooded your skin as you slowly turned your head to the front again. _Please, please, please no.. No no. SHIT, you son of a-_

Since you were a lot smaller than Shadis, you had to raise your unsteady look all the way up until your gaze met his. You've never seen such _huge_ rings under any person's eyes. Seriously, he looked like a lemur with his all-pervasive look.

He leaned forward, so far forward that he breached your comfort zone and that only some centimeters seperated your noses. You were still in total shock, trying to keep up with his furious glare. „SO..." He began so loudly that you believed your eardrums were shattered. „YOU SUCKHOLE.. WHO THE **ACTUAL FUCK** ARE YOU?"

You tried to swallow the unbelievably big lumb in your throat and bashed your right hand against your chest as hard and convincing as you could. „MY NAME IS … is … LINA KRESCH, SIR! I COME FROM … FROM..." _Shit, shit, shit.. not know. What did Captain Dramaqueen say?...T-Trost?_

„FROM TROST, SIR!"

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw one guy to your right who really stood out. Just in the moment you mentioned Trost, he turned his head slightly to your side and you emulated his deed. His amber eyes sparkled in the bright sunlight and you could've sworn that he made a short glance in your direction. The way how a light breeze ruffled his copper-brown hair was so fascinating and charming that you almost completely forgot about the human mountain standing in front of you, ready to shower a shitload of insults on you. Then, for a short but beautiful moment, your gazes met and your face turned blazing red – and so did _his_ face.

However, all pretty things have to come to an end, and so you felt two rough hands on your sleves, grabbing and squeezing your head. They turn your head violently to a bound forward position and you saw directly into Shadis' dead eyes. „DO. NOT. EVER. LIE. TO. ME, YOU SHITBAG!"

A slight squeak escaped your shapely, rose lips when you felt a egregiously vigorous pain in your stomach. A short moment of silence disturbed the tension and every cadet around you looked at you with precision and anxiety, every single one of them didn't even dare to take a breath as you lowered your head and recognized the instructor's right knee in your stomach.

Shadis removed his knee from your shaking body and put his foot on the ground again, exactly next to his left one. You coughed. Your lungs felt like they dwindled away, not able to allow you just one pathetic breath. Your arms quickly entwined the bruised area in the hope it would suppress the pain – unsuccessfully.

Your usually really stable legs began to tremble, they weren't able to carry your body anymore. You collapsed and fell on your knees, you dig your fingernails further into your flesh, but this did not help either. _Keep it down, (First).._

The only thing you positively wanted to do was scream and let the pain leave your body. But then, Shadis would make your training here a living hell. So you decided to swallow the pain, still kneeing on the dry ground, you lay your forehead on it and squinched your eyes shut entirely. _That was just one goddamn kick! How could this throw me so completely out of balance? I think he's just an expert on kicking asses._

You desperately bit your lip in an attempt to not let your pain and sorrow out. Soon you felt a warm luquid running down your chin. You open your eyes slowly and some blood droplets fell on the ground, letting it change colour from a light brown to a dark read. You felt how the pain began to vanish. You exhaled relieved but you keep kneeing on the dusty ground.

„LET THAT BE A LESSON TO ALL OF YOU PESTS!", Shadis summarized the events. And you could hear how he turned around and left the training ground. _Tch.. What a dickhead._.

The atmosphere changed entirely the moment Shadis had left the area. Everyone was relivied, well, everyone except you. You were just completely, absolutely pissed. You heard the rest of the cadets began to move, they probably headed to the barracks, and not a single human being helped your trembling body. Slowly you put your palms on the dry ground and pushed your upper body into a upright position, still kneeling on the group you palpated your lower lip and the still wet trail of blood along your chin and neck.

One lonely strand of (h/c) hair fell into your vision as you whiped away the blood with your sleeve. _I knew it.. These people here are all assholes. Stupid, arrogant assholes. I don't even want to be in this shithole they call military base._

You closed your eyes and raised your head towards the sun. It's warmth let you forget about the problems you have, it's just like earlier.. You opened your mouth slowly and whispered to yourself: „Just keep moving.."

Suddenly, the warmth is gone and you opened your eyes annoyed. „Oh, what the-", you halted as you recognized a person's silhouette planting itslef in from of you. You're completely confused when you realized who stood in front of you. „_You?_"


	3. Say cheese!

This chapter took me a while. Because English is not my mother tongue and I write every chapter in German first, it is a pretty big effort. But I already wrote the next two chapters in German and they should come out soon. :)

Besides, I recognized that the chapters become longer. So isn't that a consolation?

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**WARNING: Strong language.**

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His freaking smile. That was the first feature you recognized. Also, this smile somehow had the power to let you become upset. Maybe because it was just so inappropriate. You cadets stood there because you've just lost so many precious things, homes, families, loved ones or because you just were afraid to face such a fate. There are huge creatures, who just were out to hunt down their next human snack with zest and you guys – more or less voluntarily - decided to prevent this.

And. This. Goddamn. Guy. Smiled. You concluded that he was either very naive or just completely nuts. However, you did not really care about this sort of things. 'Cause eventually he was the ONLY ONE who decided to help you up. Did the other cadets just weasel themselves out of it because they were afraid of consequences? Like pathetic cowards? Or was it just the old 'Every man for himself'-thing? That should not be like that. You were comrades –

oh.. no.. In the end, you were just unlucky fellows, after all. Faceless mannequins. A stranger among strangers.

The person in front of you held his hand out towards you... you hesitated and just kept looking on the gesture of kindness disguised as a handshake.

You were still completely in trance and lingered in your current position. Your body, however, was as good as new again. No trembling. No pain. Just pure fanscination. Somehow the boy's presence seemed to calm you – well, except for his friggin' _peeeeermanent_ grin..

Then, finally, you accepted his offer and streched your hand toward his. When they met and a firm handshake took place, it aroused old feelings. The feeling of concealment.. and... inner warmth. With his soft and gentle hand, he pulled you up surprisingly easy. When your feet were on firm ground again his full face crystallized in front of you.

A slightly brown teint. Luminous, kind, inviting eyes, like doors to his soul. Freckles everywhere. No seriously. There were _so many_ freckles, it would have been a sheer impossible plan to count them. They exuded from the nose' bridge to his not really distinct cheeckbones. Almost completely black, short hair, from which some strains fell in front of his forehead. All those features created such a harmonic face, you were absolutely relieved.

And now you were standing there. The sun began with its setting and thus, your hands, still tightly embraced, were dipped into a dark red-orange light. With every moment, it became more awkward and suddenly you pulled your hand reflexively out of his. But immediately, you felt really embarrassed, you started to manufacture a babbled excuse: „Oh..Uh...Thanks.. This.. was really nice. You know, helping me and stuff."

„No problem.", the boy responded. _Oh sweet mother of crap his voice is even more sickly sweet than his smile. Who would have presumed that? Hell, if there would be a competition for the most innocent prepubertal voice, then you, fellow, would break all records effortlessly!_

You weren't really sure what to say now, clearly, smalltalk wasn't one of your strenghts. However, you somehow felt like you had to continue the conversation.

„Your... name... it was Marc, right?", you asked while your voice revealed an unmistakeable unsecurity.

To your surprise, the boy gave a short laugh and answered: „Almost. I'm Marco. Marco Bodt. I'm really sorry but it seems I didn't catch _your _name.

„Oh, well, I _almost_ got it right... I'm (Fir-)-eehh.. I mean.. I'm Lina. Lina Kresch." He rose an eyebrow and looked at you with confusion while you gave yourself an imaginary headbutt.

_Mother-fuck. Shit. Not again. Come on.. you just have to remember this damn information. Here, you're not (First) (Last) but Lina Kresch. Lina goddamn Kresch. Get used to it already!_

Again, he gave a laugh. „You sure?"

„Of course I'm sure.. But.. tell me.. Why you? Why did _you_ help me up? You were the only person, who helped me. Tell me why." Your intonation was filled with distrust as you changed the subject toootally skilfully.

„Oh, well.. you know.." His skin turned slightly red and he rubbed the back of his head nervously. His shy glance was directed to the sky. „I'm just convinced that you should not bail on someone like that. Also, since it's kinda my fault tha-"

But before he could continue his sentence, you interrupted him abruptly. In complete disbelief, you waved your hands around in front of your body. „Wait a damn minute here. _Your fault_?" Now you started to laugh sarcastically into the dark, maybe a bit too loudly. „No bullshit, Marco Bodt. Why would it be, of any kind whatsoever, your fault? Because we looked at each other for a split second? I thought it was just priceless how you smiled at Shadis so icecoldly. It was my own stupidity. I did not pay attention, which was punished. Don't panic.."

Marco's face turned even more red, he shifted his weight on his left and then his right foot, again and again, he was just so edgy. „Oh, come on. Don't be so rough to yourself... Uh- however, it is pretty late, isn't it?"

You nodded silently.

„Let's go back to the others, shall we? You're hungry, too, aren't you?"

Then you felt it. The former pain in your stomach was transformed into hunger. Intense hunger. You laid your hand on it and it started to gnarl loudly. „Hell yeah!"

The food cot's door unclosed as Marco an you entered the room. There were so many cadets.. It didn't look like so many when you all stood on this huge open country but now, all jammed together in one lousy cot? Damn. So many people. Not that you had significant interest in such a thing, after all, you just were there because you _had_ to not because you wanted to meet new friends. However, it could't hurt to have some allies here and there.

Marco and you both snatched a tray and you went to the food distribution. _Meh... deliciousness is another matter..,_ you thought while a woman handed you a bowl filled with a brown-grey stodge. Marco met a similar fate. You turned around almost synchronously and sighted your comrades for the next three years with a cautious consideration.

You spotted some vacant seats in the corner of the room and you headed them straight on. The small chats with Shadis and with Marco covered you daily needs in terms of socialitzation completely and the only thing you wanted to do know was eating and going to bed. But Marco had different plans for you.

After you already made some steps on the creaking wooden floor, a familiar, soft hand grabbed your upper arm out of nowhere. However, this action was so unbelievably unlucky that you almost dropped the plate with your delicious gourmet soup on. Fortunately, you were able to balance the plate – and yourself – out just in time. You turned your head around and darted a reproachful over-the-shoulder-glance at the boy with the innumerable freckles behind you.

„What the hell, Marco?", you shouted.

He tried to defend himself with a not really convincing puzzled look on his face and again, he started smiling. „Oh no, I'm so sorry, really. I just didn't want you to sit alone all throughout the dinner and stuff." You were totally poised to deliver him a speech about your ability to decide for yourself but you were already too worn out for this kind of discussion.

So you nodded and followed him while sighing silently. You went to the other side of the cot and Marco sat down next to a big, blonde boy. Well, more mountain than boy when you think about it. Opposite to him, there sat a rather withdrawn tall boy with short dark-brown hair. There was a vacant seat next to him so you decided to sit down there, after that, you exhaled relieved.

Full of happines because of your snatched dinner, maybe a bit too much happiness, you looked down at the plate. The bowl filled with the gray stodge was there, of course, but the bread... The only halfway eatable dish was gone. Totally shocked, you perused all the things happens recently.

_We went through the door.. the distribution..the abandoned seats...I almost face planted it... Marco and I went to th- wait a minute. **WAIT A GODDAMN MINTUE.** There. It had to happen there...I just did not... drop it? Jeez, this whole day is just a complete pain in the ass.._

Totally frustrated, you jumped up and pounded your fists on the wooden table in front of you, thus dishes began to topple or fell on the ground and bursted into a thousand pieces.

„Eh.. eh.. Lina?", Marco asked in complete confusion but you ignored him entirely. You turned around and made your way through a ton of cadets, while simultaneously receiving 'What the fuck..'s and 'Oi..'s from every direction. But you didn't really care, all you wanted to have was your damn food.

When you finally arrived at the accident secene, you knelt down and examined the floor. Left, right, left, right. Damn it.. Nothing but legs and feet. Your food was gone, just like your relatively good mood.

Suddenly, two small feet emerged in front of you and your gaze moved upwards. It was a blonde girl, she looked very apprehensive. „Is everything alright? Did you lose something? Can I help you somehow?", her voice was pretty squeaky. _Some people here clearly are utterly Samaritans, aren't they?_

„I... uh-..", you stammered before you straightened yourelf again. She was short, even you had to look down on her. „I just... it seems I just lost my bread. But since it gone... it doesn't matter." A sad sigh escaped your lips. The girl had marvellously big blue eyes, they were absolutely beautiful. But her voice was kinda annoying, such a I-am-a-little-and-vulnerable-girl-voice.. Ah well, it's not her fault after all.

Then she raised her index finger and pointed towards a girl with brown-red hair, tied up to a queue. Her fringe hung down to her eyes but was cut perfectly so that she could still see everything. She was holding... a bread in her mouth. „I think that was yours.. I'm so sorry.. Sasha is... special."

You eyes widened and you believed the right one started to flutter slightly. Determined to get your food back, you went to Sasha, who was sitting with her back to you and only noticed you when it was already too late.

You tapped on her shoulder, she turned around and greeted you with a appreciative „Mmpfh." Quickly, you grabbed the bread, which was still halfway stuck in her mouth, and pulled it out vigorously..

Sasha began to protest but immediately stopped when you teared it apart midmost and threw the half soaked with her saliva on the table in front of you two. Then you banged your flat hand on the table while the other bread half remained in the other one. You stood directly next to the deeply shocked Sasha, her wide eyes looked straight into your furious ones. With a surprisingly deep, but not loud, voice you said: „That. Was. MY. Goddamn. Bread."

„Jeez, Sasha.. Don't fuck with the crazy ones!", a bald boy said. You glanced at him and were surprised, because it was actually Connie Springer.

„This coming from the guy, who managed to make the friggin' salute the wrong way.. I'm not crazy. Just hungry.", you answered unfazed.

Some people around you started to giggle and Connie acted as if he didn't hear what you just said.

You raised yourself again and headed to your seat, chased by cadets' amazed but also perplexed gazes. You sat down again and started to nibble on your won dinner.

Out of the croner of your eye, you saw Marco's open wide mouth, so you turned your head in his direction and asked: „What?", clearly you were thoroughly bugged.

He began to stutter but wasn't able to form a sensible sentence. But then, someone else raised to speak, to your astonishment, the voice came from the front.

„Had a bad day?", he laughed.

You turned your head around slowly and then you saw him. His head rested in his palm and an unmistakeable shit-eating grin decorated his face. _Aw.. daaamn._

„You think?", you answered cocky.

„Well, not everyone is able to piss off the instructor so badly that you receive a kick in the stomach. I mean, seriously girl. The hell is wrong with you?"

In a fraction of a second, your eyes became tiny slots, you crunched with your teeth and you scrunched up your nose unconsciously. „If I'd be you, then I would shut the fuck up. You want to annoy me? Not a great plan."

He again gave a laugh and raised his head. „And what harm could _you_ do to _me_?"

„I have three years from now on. I'll come up with something.", you raised a corner of your mouth to form a catty grin. „Provided that you can stick it out." After that statement, you closed your eyes in satisfaction and took a spoonful of the stodge. But you quickly swallowed it in order to avoid its taste, which, you assumed, wasn't really great.

They boy suddenly jumped to his feet, totally in rage, and basehd his hands on the table. His yellowgold eyes blazed with anger. „Provided that_ YOU_ can stick it out three years long! I know you barely 5 minutes, Lina Kresch... and I ALREADY know that you are going to quit in three days and run crying home to mommy!"

Suddenly, you caught your breath and let the spoon fall down. The clanking sound of metal to metal resounded through the entire room. All blood drained from your face, your usually bright eyes became dark and your grin vanished completely. Slowly, you laid your hands on the table and pusehd yourself into a standing position..

A moment of complete silence pervaded the room and the boy obviously recognized that he had striken a nerve. Before anyone could have said anything, your arm zoomed across the table and your hand grabbed the boy's shirt collar. With all your force, you squeezed the smooth fabric and pulled it towards you, so that the boy had to lean over the table.

Dishes fell from the table and exploded on the floor. You looked him dead in the eyes, your furious gaze crossed with his surprised one. You also leaned forward so that the distance among your faces became vanishingly low.

„Well, **I **don't even know your BLOODY NAME and I'm sure that you're a TOTAL FUCKHEAD!", you whispered, but everyone could hear it.

With this sentence, you let go of him, turned around and left the small cot. Chased by baffled countenances. Marco tried to stop you but you didn't listen. You just wanted to be alone now.

Yup. What a successful first day.


	4. Dreamy

Here you go guys, next one. I did not think I would be able to translate it so quickly but somehow I made it. Took me a couple of hours after all...

The next one will definitely not come out this quickly. It is a lot longer and also one of my favorites so far, so I'm going to do my very best with the translation as well. Not that I neglect the other chapters, of course, I just want it to be absolutely perfect in the next chapter. ;)

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**WARNING: Strong language and violence.**

* * *

It still was not quite dark outside when you went to the girl's dorm. After the trouble with Shadis and the nameless jerk, whose name you didn't want to find out anyway, your biggest need was sleep. In pure anger, you tramped along the way among food cot and dorm and you were able to _feel_ your heart palpitating vigorously in your chest because of sheer rage.

As you reached your goal, you opened the shaky door with caution. You exhaled relieved when you recognized that you were the first one in the room. A small candle burned and lightened up the room only very limited, however it was enough for your purposes. After you made some prudent steps on the creaking wooden floor, you saw a pile of suitcases in one corner of the room.

Not really encouraged by this discovery, you approached it and began to search for your case. Some minutes passed anf finally, you could feel a well-known, rough fabric. Fastly, you grabbed it and pulled your suitcase out of the pile, however, some other ones also fell on the floor and thus created a small circle around the actual pile but you didn't care at all. The main thing was that you got your stuff.

The small suitcase, or rather: The small cloth bag, which accompanied you all these years, was your most precious property. It was the only thing you possessed from olden times and you wouldn't have given it away beyond the grave.

Your arms resonated unmotivated along with your movements as you headed towards a bed. You took one in the dorm's back corner because this place was the only chance for some privacy. The bag was thrown against the wall behind the heardboard quickly and you snatched a sleep uniform, which laid on top of a collective dresser.

It was a light green slighty itchy T-shirt and equally itchy baggy pants. Finally something you could really enjoy. You smirked faintly. _Ha! Exactly my style_

You've never been _that_ typical girl. You hated rose, you thought flowers were boring and what you detested most were dresses and skirts. These were irrational reluctances, there wasn't a particular reason for you to think that way.. It just was a part of you.

You sat on your bed an stripped the boots off of your legs. From the beginning, you already knew that you were going to hate these boots. And lo and behold... You were positively right.

Just like your surpsrisingly comfortable jacket and your other clothes, the boots also landed near your cloth bag at the wall. With your last power resources, you slipped into T-shirt and baggy pants and then you fell tired out into your bed.

Your hands rested beneath your head while your elbows made use of their entire span. The smooth pillow clinged to your head and hands.

And then, complete silence. Just the rhythmic influx and efflux of air in and out your lungs was noticeable. You eyes peered at the ceiling, spellbound. One thing that was completely strange to you, was the fact that the roof was leak-proof. Your eyes scanned the ceiling's entire surafce but no hole or crack was visible. You gave a silent laugh and your eyes closed, darkness surrounded you...

–

But not too long because real soon a picture emerged in front of you. First, there were only two shiny golden yellow dots. Overhead, a big coppery tuft appeared, it seemed to be greatly fluffy and as light as a feather... From there, two dark brown lines spreaded out, they were slightly curved, opened towards the small dots and ended at their level. _Oh what the heck's going on?_

Then, two white areas loomed around the sparkling dots... a long, slim nose and a bloody shit-eating grin joined up with the, thus far, inexplicable occurrences in order to form a well-know face with sharp features.

Now, finally, the penny dropped. It was a face. _His_ face.

You caught your breath, your blood fumed with rage and you clenched your teeth violently.

„A.. dream?", you mumbled quietly. Then, the rest of his body also emerged and suddenly, both of you stood in the middle of your home town. Directly in front of your house. You turned around cautiously and the small marketplace next to your house, which was normally filled with a uncountable number of people, was empty.

Now you two stood there and eventually, you were completely certain that this was a dream. However, you've never experienced such a clear and realistic dream, it was unduly stunning. As if you really stood there, for real. But that was too good to be true, literally.

At the sight of him, your anger boiled over and your eyes began to sparkle furiously. He did not react when you clenched your fists very obviously and started to approach him until you were only a couple of steps away from him.

„From ALL the things that I could have dreamed of, it is YOU? WHY for fuck's sake YOU HORSEFACE?! GODDAMNED DUDE, even in my dreams you manage to grind MY BLOODY GEARS! And I don't even KNOW you?! FUCKING HELL!", you shouted madly.

Still no reaction. Your breathing became louder, due to your flaming speech, your chest rose and fell with an unhealthily fast rhythm. Then you finally realized that you just yelled at a dream-figure and that this was absolutely pointless.

After a last short glance, you closed your eyes, turned around and went away resolutely. The only noise you heard were your footsteps, stepping on the solid stone floor but suddenly, they became loud. Like, really loud. They kept getting louder, even so loud that the buildings around you began to shake, windows shattered and debris fell from the rooftops.

„What the heck..", you whispered to yourself. But then, it hit you like a hammer. Your eyes widened, all blood drained from your face and you stopped breathing. These footsteps.. didn't belong to _you_.

You balked and freezed in the middle of the street. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. You couldn't believe.. no... you didn't _want _to believe that these footsteps... They belonged to a-

A shriek sound pulled you back into conciousness. It was a voice, and more horrifying, a familiar voice. You feelt some drops of sweat running down your forehead, cheeks, chin and neck. In a flash, you turned around and there they were. Your parents. The voice.. it was your mother's.. She was stuck in.. in.. a titan's left hand. And your father in the right one. They were trapped, no way out. And there it was again. The grin..

_'It was huge and towered every building surrounding it with ease. Long brown hair edged its face, its unnormally big eyes glared at you and its smile... oh god its smile. It just followed you with this awful smile. The blood of all those brave soldiers, who lost their lives in a desperate fight against these abominations, still dripping out of the mouth's corners, 40 teeth in each row, formed to a sadistic grin.'_

This thought crossed your mind over and over again, along with a million other ones. Of course you wanted to help them, but how? The only thing you could do was watching your parents screaming for help with faces contorted with pain. Cold tears joined the drops of sweat on your skin. Then, suddenly, your parents looked at you while continuing with their agonized screaming. „(Firtst)! (First)! Help us! Please.."

The tears coursed faster down your face and your knees began to feel so weak and feeble. You felt so useless, tormented by the sight of your parents in the hands of humanity's mightiest enemy.

„Wha-.. What should I do?", you screamed in total panic, outraged because of your incapability. „I- I want to help but... how? MOMMY! DADDY! HOW? DON'T LEAVE ME!" Breathing became unbearably difficult, your agonized screams tranformed into a fearful whining: „I want to go back.. Don't leave me alone again... I beg you.."

Suddenly, a loud, pervasive clunk murmured directly through the area... and your body. It sent an icecold shiver up and down your spine, you winced. Your eyes, which were still focused on your parent's frantic faces, detected the clunk's horrifying origin in a split second.

Because suddenly, the inanimate bodies of your mother and father hanged in the monster's hands

you finally realized... This abomination just crunched their spines. With one lousy squeeze, your personal apocalypse was sealed.

Completely bewildered, you sank down on your kees, eyes still focused on your parents, they hurted so badly, everything was going to hell. The titan lead his gigantic hands to his overproportional mouth. Slowly, you streched your trembling arm in its direction and whispered: „No... Please not... Why? You... despicable monstrocities!"

It opened its mouth widely and the motionless bodies of your parents were laid inside. „No... NO!", your voice became louder again, it was full of hate and desperation. It was herable in the entire town. Then the titan closed its mouth with a resonant and bloodcurdling bang.

„NOOOOO!" Although you were determined to help them, you weren't _able _to save them and had to watch their bodies slide down the monster's maw.

They were gone for good.

–

You inhaled a huge amount of air and woke up with a start, „NOO!", you shouted fastly and loudly.

To your amazement, you sat in your bed again and gasped for air. Panic-striken, you observed your hands, which trembled because of sheer anxiety. Cold drops of sweat, which had formed on your forehead, now ran down your temples and dripped on your palms. You laid one hand over your eye and your gaze was fixated on your feet.

You did not notice what happened around you, it was just blurred. You did not realize that every girls' eyes were directed towards you. Their astonished looks didn't reach you at all.

Your breathing was jerky and you thought your heart was going to explode inside your chest. But little by little, your body and your psyche calmed down. Your heartbeat became normal again. _Oh fuck-a-doodle-doo, what a nightmare._

Only now you realized what was going on.

You turned your gaze to the right, towards the room's middle, and you saw that everyone was there. No one said anything, they just kept starring at you. Silently. Even Sasha looked up from her bread. Then again, the blonde girl approached you, her worried face said everything. „I- Is everything alright?"

„Oh- uh... yeah.. sure. Just.. Just a nightmare, nothing else." Your hands sank into you lap again. The girl kept coming closer and enveloped your hands with hers, she looked you deeply in the eyes.

„Are you sure? Whatever bothers you, talk to me, okay? I'm Christa by the way. Christa Renz. Your name was... Lina, right?"

_Marco has a real competitor in terms of compassion here._ „Uh- Thank you, that's really nice. And yes, that's me. Lina Kresch..."

Silence.

Suddenly, you had the feeling that you woudn't be able to breathe, this kind of welfare was well known to you. Your... parents did the same thing with your hands when you were sad or upset.

„I'm sorry but I have to get some fresh air.", you interrupted the silence, pulled yourself out of her grip, jumped up to your feet and headed straight for the door. Christa tried to stop you but you had already left the dorm, she stayed inside the cottage with the other perplexed girls.

The cold night air tickled your skin in a bloody refreshing way. You took some deep breaths, crossed your arms in front your chest and leaned against the dorm's exterior wall. You started to observe the area, it was pitch-black and only some meager torches dispelled the darkness. After some time, you recognized movements in the distance, your eyes became tiny slots as you realized that there were two people approaching you. Two boys.

The one was small and blonde, the other one had brown hair and was slightly taller. His emerald eyes twinkled like crazy in the torches' tender light. Then they stopped right in front of you.

„Uh. Hello? What do you want? Who are you, anyway?", you asked baffled and a tad too harsh. Still, your thoughts kept spinning around that nightmare. You did not witness yourself that shaken for a long time. The blonde boy winced a bit because of your voice.

The brown-haired guy had a very determined look on his facial features, you liked it. „I'm Eren. This is Armin. We were on our way to the boys' dorms and saw you standing here. Besides, I think it was pretty awesome how you messed with Kirstein. Sorry but ... what was your name again?"

Your eyes flickered and your tension faded slightly. „Lina... Kresch. What? Kirstein? The idiot from earlier today?"

„Hehe, yeah. Jean Kirstein. Pf.. a huge asshole.."

„Ahh.. Jean Kirstein.. So that's horseface's name.. but wait. What's _your_ problem with him?", you looked him dead in the eyes, and damn, you had never seen such green eyes. You always had assumed that your (e/c) eyes were beautiful, but taking Eren's and Christ's into account... Nope, not a chance.

But suddenly, Eren's face turned cloudy. „He says he is an honest soul but he's actually just a little coward, who wants to hole up in the interior. Tz... Ridiculous."

_Wait a minute...Wasn't he one of the guys, who weren't asked who and from where they are? It is tempting... _„Tell me, Eren.. Shadis did not interrogate you. Why? Where do you guys come from?", you asked cautiously.

Eren laid a hand on Armin's shoulder, who looked at you with nervousness. „We're from Shiganshina. I don't know why he omitted me and I don't really care, as well. The only thing I have interest in is exterminating every last titan." There it was again. This 'I-do-whatever-the-fuck-I-want-to-do-no-matter-what'-expression. Daamn.

_Where the hell is Shiganshina? Something happened there? Shit, Levi could have enlightened me at least a little bit. I don't know what the fuck happened here.._

„Oh-uh wow. Seems like you set yourself a pretty difficult goal. Do you think this is really possible? I mean.. killing _all_ titans?"

„If I think it is possible? I don't give a shit. I'm just going to do it. If you don't fight, you are not able to win, right?" His eyes burned with excitement and determination. It was totally awesome.

„Huh.. I think you're right. Oh- eh well I think I should go to bed now. Pretty late. See ya!" You waved at the two boys and went inside the girls' dorm again. Eren and Armin turned around and left. When you entered the small cottage, only three girls were still awake. Sasha, the girl with the raven-black hair and a tall one with freckles and a slightly brown complexion.

You headed straight for your bed but suddenly, a girl got in the way.

„Hey. I'm sooo sorry about earlier today... The bread and stuff, but I was just soooo hungry and it looked sooo delicious! Please don't be mad at me, okay? However, there wasn't any reason to pull the bread out of my mouth again.!", a pair of giant sulky eyes looked at you. You sighed and because you really were too tired for a discussion, you answered:

„It's ok, Sasha. We all were a bit edgy earlier today." You raised the corner of your mouth cockily. „But when you steal my food ever again, you're not going to get away so easily."

This sentence immediately conjured a smile on her face and she suddenly flinged her arms around your neck. „Thank you! Thank you, Lina!"

Totally baffled, you cautiously laid one hand on her back in order to not reject her hug entirely. You weren't a really huggy person, physical affinity and you just had grown apart. Everytime someone tried to make you comfortable this way, they made the exact opposite because these actions just reminded you of the loved ones you thought you had lost.

Then finally, Sasha losened her grip and sprinted to her bed in order to hit he sack. You exhaled relieved and went back to sleep.

–

The boys' dorm's door bursted open, Eren and Armin entered the room. Almost all male cadets were already in their beds, including Jean and Marco, who had to share a bunk bed. Eren and Armin also had to share and after they had changed their clothes, they laid down, too.

Everyone was silent. But no one slept. A lonely candle flickered in the middle of the room and lightened it up a tiny bit. Then, Jean turned around to face Eren and cup his head in his hand.

„Oi Jäger. Arlert.", he whispered to not attract the other's attention. „About what the hell did you talk about with that bimbo?"

Eren closed his eyes and answered sarcastically: „Oh, well, what a huge fuckhead you are. So, you know, standard fare." Some backround-laughter was noticeable.

„HEY! JÄGER! Don't you sass-"

„What do you care, anyway?!", Eren interrupted his rant.

Now, no one said a word. But what Eren, or anyone, couldn't see was the fact tha tJean's face turned blazing red. Jean deliberated what he could throw back but he wasn't quite sure what to say...

„Uh-... Well...ah oh fuck it! I was just curious, okay?! Jeez...", he turned around offended and closed his eyes while being positively enervated.

And Eren? He just grinned triumphantly.


	5. Irony

Just as I predicted, this chapter took me a while. However, the next one is almost double the length of this one so you can expect some latency here, as well.

Certainly, the next chapter is one of my personal favorites so I thing I'll be more motivated translating this.

So all in all, I don't really know when the next one comes out. As for now, enjoy this one and I would be really pleased if you'd advance an opinion. :)

* * *

In the last couple of years you got used to sleeping late because no one really cared about you and thus, no one cared whether you're awake or not. Everyday day was a new tab on your imaginary tally sheet, which was too long for you to bear it any longer. You totally lost track of it..

You never knew how long you had been in this dungeon and although there were no threats like animals, _titans_, or other humans, who could've hurt you, it still was the most frightening place you were able to imagine to exist. Since you could brood about your past and current life all day long...

What actually happened to you... to your parents... _Where_ the hell you were... Why Levi wanted to recruit you in general, because your knowledge about the outer world couldn't possibly be only reason. These questions tortured you day after day for several years.

But there, on the military base, you neither were an unpredictable invader nor a creature to be afraid of. No... now, you finally were equal. Yet still entirely different.

You thought about all those thinks in a half-concious state.

Suddenly, the dorm's door was teared open and thrown against the wall next to it so violently that it almost flew off its hinges. A jarring whistling resounded through the entire room.. and your ears.

It had shocked you so intensely that it gave you the most amazingly overwhelming creeps and your eyes shot open.

„Oh what the fu-", you sighed while running your fingers through messy hair, eyelids heavy like lead. But your monologoue was interrupted quickly by the instructor's much-loved voice: „LISTEN, YOU MAGGOTS! Today, your training begins and **I** want YOUR sorry asses on the training ground. You have ten minutes! NO EXCEPTIONS!" With his last words, he slammed the door shut and all the cadets began groaning and yawning by the piece.

Being a total nervous wreck, you rolled around again and observed the window next to your bed. It wasn't entirely bright outside, after all, a couple of sunbeams colorized the sky delicately orange. A small square was silhouetted against the floor, created by rays of sunlight, which crashed through the window.

It was somehow hypnotizing, yet still so ironic. You were laying there, in this small cot, on a freaking military base – only for the purpose of necessarily fighting against titans. And not only one or two times, no, but until you'll eventually kick the bucket.

Your aim should have been to be survival-centric, highly-concentrated, clear-minded and to give everything you got to reach that goal. You should have prepared yourself for the hell that was waiting for you in only three bloody years. Precisely in order to **not** drop dead.

To... come back... some day.

No matter how small and fanciful the chance was, you did not allow yourself to let hope perish.

However, you were just not able to avert your gaze from this mundane event, created by pure sunlight.

A fragile smirk emerged on your face when you observed the light. But not too long until Sasha shoved herself into focus, in full panoply.

„Lina, what are you doing? Come on, get your clothes on! We have to hurry!"

Finally, you realized what you were doing for the past minutes and that you were supposed to get ready. Your inattention was blown off, with a dart, you sprang to your feet began to slip some clothes on.

In the meantime, you studied your comrades. Many of them whined about getting up early, some other about how rumbled their hair was, all the rest was completely silent. Just like the girl with the incredibly murderous expression; she leaned against a wall, arms crossed, waiting with closed eyes. You put on one boot and wondered about what she might was thinking about.

Your gaze was directed rigidly towards her, however, she seemed to notice your not really well-disguised surveillance because suddenly, her eyes shot open and her glance aimed... you.

In a split second, you turned your attention to your boots again and put on the second one before jumping up to begin your training.

Your group headed toward training ground, some cadets were already there, scattered, but by no means all of them. Shortly, ease spreaded in your entire body, every nerve, muscle and cell relaxed, you had absolutely nothing against some silence.

Though suddenly, someone tapped on your shoulder, you turned around in confusion and saw a girl with black pigtails standing in front of you. She smiled slightly, nevertheless, you also felt her deep tension.

„Hey. You. I.. -eh... I just.. wondered if everything's all right. Since you talked in your sleep and then rushed out of the dorm all of the sudden.", her voice sounded as like she was really concerned with your situation.

Your eyes widened in shock. „I-I.. talked in my sleep?!", you asked nervously and raised one eyebrow. „I'm fine but what the hell was I talking about?"

„Uh, well you said something like 'Fucking hell' and 'No no, don't leave me!', so we got worried. Especially because of your reaction after you had woken up.", she hesitated. „Is really everything okay?"

_Aw damn. Saved by the bell. I did not spill anything.. _You chuckled to yourself briefly, slightly grinning you shook your head. „No, no that was... just a nightmare. Really. Nothing dramatic.", you assured.

Immediately, the girl started smiling widely and her eyes began to sparkle in relief. „Oh, good. Then it's nothing to worry about?"

„No.", you laughed.

„Great. By the way, I'm Mina Carolina. You're Lina, right?"

„You bet I am."

More cadets entered the training ground and your face darkened abruptly as you saw Jean Kirstein walking along in the background, followed by Marco. Mina recoiled at the sight of your expression but then her face turned pale when she saw Shadis approaching the field.

Everyone lined up in front of him. With a grim expression and neatly folded hands, he went up and down the rows, observing every single cadet with alarming precision. All soon-to-be soldiers strained their bodies at Shadis' sight. Minutes passed while he kept on rambling dumbly. The silence was more of a torture than straightforward yelling.

Then, finally (or unfortunately?) he stopped at the row's exact middle and took a deep breath.

„CADETS!"

„SIR!", everyone saluted unisono and the combined voices of yours outweighed every other possible noise. There was a short crackle in the treetops behind you, suddenly, a huge flock of birds flew through the sky. Immediately, they drew your attention.

The birds. Ravens.

Darn it, you loved birds so much. They embodied everything that eluded you:

Freedom. Creativity. Escape.

Maybe you just liked bird so heavily because you knew you're not going to be able to possess these things._ It's just like they say.. You don't realize what you have until it's gone.. Oh man.. This is just so bitterly true._

„Your training begins today. Are you ready to give it your ALL? Are you ready to WORK YOUR SORRY ASSES OFF? Are you ready to become SOLDIERS?! DO YOU NOW THIS FOR SURE?!"

„YES, SIR!"

„DAMN IT, NO! You are just some pathetic assholes, who think they can play soldiers! YOU DON'T KNOW A DAMN THING! Here, you are NOTHING! TODAY, it will be decided if you're even CAPABLE of mastering the BASICS. Because today, your abilities with the 3D maneuver gear will be examined. First, an instruction. After that, the test. DISMISSED!"

„HA!", again, everyone saluted, Shadis headed off. Nervousness vanished and one soldier led you to a big square. Buried in thought, you eyed the dusty ground all march long...

_What the actual hell is a '3D maneuver gear'? Doesn't sound **that** healthy... Sending me here without any background information probably was the most batshit idea ever, not kidding.. _A sigh escaped your lips , at which a blonde girl looked warily at you, but you did not notice at all...

You entered a cleared area, a draught swirled up some dust, a handful of soldiers emerged in front of you. One of them came to the fore and you saluted him.

„Greetings, cadets of the 104th trainings corps. We are going to show you how to mount the maneuver gear's leather belts, not only for the purpose of today's trial."

A bunch of crates were brought to place. Every single member of the unit was accounted with a harness and lectured how to attach it all alone.

The straps were tight, it felt like they were cutting your flesh. A heavy back padding, reaching from one scapula to another, kept pulling you back- and downwards. Anywhere on your body where these belts, along your legs, feet, hip, waist. Anywhere, except your arms, probably because they should remain fully mobile.

That was actually a good thing because moving along with that harness wasn't an easy job. At each step, it creaked, it clicked, also, it seemed like the belts would lace your body tighter and more tedious. Your leg's blood supply was so jammed that they always had gone dead. The strap which ran obliquely over your chest made every breath of air a challenge for your lungs. All in all?

It sucked.

–

The sun had risen completely long since, hot sun beams bit your bodies, it was almost as if everything opposed your wellbeing. Discomfiture. Immobility. Heat. Hunger. All these circumstances merged into the perfect effing afternoon. Until, to any man's delight, the bell rang. Food.

However, it became apparent that you had to wear the harness for the rest of the day, which casted heavy displeasure in you and your comrades.

You kept on swaying the straps in order to make the harness a bit _less_ of a torture while going to the food cot. What you indeed wondered about all the time was the '3D maneuver gear''s practical effect. And why the fudge you had to wear this bloody uncomfortable harness. It better is darned helpful.

Suddenly, someone put his hand on your shoulder, you turned around with a start and recognized Marco. The blackhaired boy gave you a carefree smile and was clearly tickled by your performance. „Hey, Lina. Pretty comfortable, isn't it?"

You chuckled to yourself, slightly amused by the unknown sarcasm of his. „Totally. And you still uphold your tremendous optimism, huh?"

„Uh, well. My father always told me that 'Every cloud has a silver lining.'"

_**BWAHAHA!**_

Out of thin air, you bursted out in a hearty laugh, letting Marco's head turn lightly red. „Oh-oh, Marco. You-You're killing me. I'm reeeeally sorry f-for laughing right now but...but... This is just so _unbelievably_ cheesy._** BWAHAHA**_"

„Just.. Just see it this way: Soon we will be able to hurtle through the air all by ourselves.. And then you're going to forget about these straps completely. It's only a matter of getting used to."

Your eyes shot wide open and your laughter choked immediately.. _Did he just say 'hurtle through the air'? If yes... could it be...? No. It cant be.. But well.. No pain, no gain._ And yes, his statement did make sense. How should these people be able to fight against titans otherwise? _Ah, dammit! Why do I know so friggin' little of their world? Why is it __**that**__ different? How is it even possible that they are __**that**__ advanced?! Maneuver gears.. and.. raise yourself into the air... C'mon.. That's crazy._

Silently again, you went alongside Marco, your gaze was reflective, yet still inexpressive, almost melancholic. The tall boy beside you couldn't figure out what was eating you, still, he had a distinct assumption. Uut of the corner of your eye, you saw that Marco looked at you, observing your expression from time to time. Permanently wondering about what was going on in your mind. His mouth opened with hesitation. „Is... Is everything alright? I heard that-"

„I'm fine.", you interrupted him abruptly, sighing. You were so sick of it. Sick of every person around treating you like a wimp. Sick of the fact that they just couldn't leave you alone. You were not weak at all.

„But-"

You turned around in total rage, looking Marco dead in the eye, clenching your teeth and knuckles with such a force that they became chalk-white, completely lacking of blood. „God damn it, it was just a BLOODY NIGHTMARE! Why can't you guys just accept that? I'm absolutely, utterly, positively FINE!"

Marco was speechless, his all too hearty smile vanished, leaving place for a serious look. Clearly, he did not expect this kind of a reaction and was lost what to answer. Driven by pure anger, you turned around again, while darting an over the shoulder glance at the freckled Samaritan, you accelerated and bumped into the cadet in front of you at full tilt.

A loud „What the-!" resonated, Marco tried to catch you but he failed and thus, both of you clunked on the hard stone floor. Almost no one took notice of your little stunt, but those who _did_ notice started giggling and moved along. Just like always...

After a brief moment of shock, you realized the situation. You laid on the cadet, who you just knocked over, his face rested in the dry ground's dust. A dull pain throbbed in _your_ face. The tip of your nose leaned on his muscular back, his light brown leather jacket was blurred, due to the fact that it was only some centimeters apart from your sparkling irises.

Your mouth felt as dry as a bone with embarrassment.

The impact thrusted all the air out of your lungs, so that you both had to gasp for air first. His body radiated an incredible amount of heat and you felt his heart beat excitedly. Your arms rested across his, but after all, you moved it and put your palms on the dusty ground.

Just in the moment in which you wanted to launch an apology, your subfloor came to life again. His left arm and -upper body moved upwards jerkily, his elbow wooshed past your face dangerously close. This movement was so vigorous that your _entire body_ was flipped over in a single bound and your back dashed against the ground next to him.

You uttered a short silent whimper, then clenched your teeth in pain and shame. Eyes shut down completely, you just remained on the ground.

_Mother. Fuck._

You heard some softspoken words. „Are you all right?" You knew this sugar-sweet voice. Marco. _Of course.. You still care about my wellbeing, huh? You're just too good... Man.. I'm a real asshole._

Slowly, your eyes opened again and the picture of Marco's face manifested itself directly in front of you. Very close. Too close. That close, that you reflexively gave a jerk backwards, swirling up some dust.

Your gaze moved to the right where the person you bumped into stood. And who, of course, was it?

„No. Freakin'. Way. You're gotta be fucking kidding me...", your voice was _so_ full of drabness and sarcasm that you could literally taste it.

Because next to you was positioned none other than Jean Kirstein, amber eyes glaring at you. His forehead was reddened, due to the former impact, which made you laugh uncontrollably.

He, however, didn't find it as amusing as you did. His body trembled with fury, clenching his teeth with such a force that they began to gnash wildly. „Look out where you're going, you clumsy idiot! And shut your trap already!", he replied acridly, crossing his arms and looking down at your giggling figure.

At not just literally. Since you'd met Jean you always had the feeling that he thought he would be a cut above everyone else. Especially you. That just made your rage grow faster.

„Tch.", you based your palms on the ground again and pushed yourself into stand. As if you had all the time in the world, you shook off the dust from your trousers and made some steps towards Jean, Marco abashedly watched the scene. Shortly, you compressed your eyes, drew even closer to him and observed him from head to toe. While being observed by him.

„Clumsy idiot, huh? This coming from the guy with the hedgehog on his head and a horse in his bloody face..", your voice was unusually calm, yet still so invidious. Some teeth flashed through your lips which formed your best drazen grin.

„Who the fuck do think you are, Lina Kresch?"

„You just said it all by yourself... I'm Lina Kresch." You raised your arms and let the hands fall dwon externally, palms directed to the sky. „Nothing more, and nothing less." Now being only a couple of steps away from him, you raised your index finger and began to repeatedly tap on his chest while your other hand rested on your hip. „But.. Tell me... How come that you know my name, huh? I don't remember telling you."

His look became unsteadier, with every word which escaped your lips, and you saw how he frantically searched for an answer. Your finger still patted him provokingly, every new touch felt like a little stab in his pride. Suddenly, his hand rushed towards yours and enveloped it tightly. He squeezed. Your eyes shot open widely but you refused to let pain show.

„Come now, everyone's talking! And after your little show yesterday, anybody knows the score about you.", his voice was surprisingly calm and deep, contrasting with the fact that he just was well on his way breaking your hand.

„IT WAS **YOUR** GODDAMN FAULT!", you shouted vigorously and aggressively pulled yourself out of his grip. The two boys looked at you, with mouths agape, Jean was about to launch into an equally loud answer, stamping his foot into the ground, thus, sending a huge dustcloud into the air.

But suddenly, Marco shoved himself between you, hysterically wagging his hands. „Guys, guys, guys. Please. Calm yourselves! This fight is just silly." He laid one hand on each of your shoulders and smiled cheerfully. „So. What about you both apologize and everything's all right again? How does that sound?" You felt how he slightly squeezed your shoulder with tension. Obviously, he wasn't a big fan of face-offs.

You sighed loudly and looked on the ground. „Ok... Marco. I guess you're right. We should-"

„AS IF I'm going to apologize to her?!", Jean interrupted you with flickering eyes.

„Christ, swallow your bloody pride just FOR ONCE, Jean.", you replied unmistakably annoyed. You really had no desire of any kind to discuss this any further.

But apparently, he felt the same way because he framed a somewhat apology. „Okay okay. Right. I... I'm sorry for yesterday and stuff.. Whatever I said..", while stuttering this, he rubbed the back of his head, amber eyes directed towards the sky, ground, Marco – basically everything but you. Also, his face turned slightly red.

„We'll practice that, but yeah, I'm sorry for sending you to the ground. Oh and Marco..", your gaze panned to the freckled boy, who looked at you in satisfaction. „I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snarled at you back there. It wasn't your fault at all... "

He gave you a bright smile and you took this as a 'Thank you'. Being absolutely happy and pleased with the situation, he turned around and headed towards food cot, followed by Jean and yourself.

Suddenly, Jean cautiously opened his mouth . „Say, and how do you know _my_ name? I didn't tell you either?"

Looking straight forward, you grinned slightly. „Everyone's talking."


End file.
